So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
