And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
