I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you will always have a special place in my vag
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
