yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
