I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
