I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize