I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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