she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
