matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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