I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
