I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
