So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just blew my weed a kiss
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Floor bacon is actually really good
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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