can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
