Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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