If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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