I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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