everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
