and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
