We're like a lot better than the average bears
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
