My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
