I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
