Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize