first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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