I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
