Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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