You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
