I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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