i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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