He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize