I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
