he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
