Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
