She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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