We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want to make out with him forever
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
