I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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