I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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