It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
