Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
