Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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