did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
