If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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