if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
