She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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