talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
