walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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