im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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