Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
