I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize