Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
