no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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