cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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