he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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