guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize