i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
