Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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