so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
