just come out here and I will go home with you...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
