I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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