I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
